its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
