hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
