I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
