Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize