don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
