Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
