He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
