So drunk, too bad you don't want this
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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