We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
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I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
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Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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