I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
