So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
