Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
