Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize