dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
