he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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