Little spoons don't ask big questions
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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