I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
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I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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