You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
