you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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