just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
