Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
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I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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