Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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