Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
