I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
