I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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