I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
