Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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