Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize