4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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