Umm I'm too high to move.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
