There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
