he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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