I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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