i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
