never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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