I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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