i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
