Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
