I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just pee around me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
