It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
