I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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