I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
