genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize