We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
