I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ketchup is God's man juice
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
