bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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