U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
