My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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