it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
