let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
