my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
