I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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