She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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