The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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