i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
