My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
