Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
