You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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