Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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